Effective Communication & Cause / Effect Beliefs

 

Distortions showing up in our communication come in several different forms and can absolutely plaque our ability to effectively communicate. Once such distortion that rears it’s ugly head often enough is in falsely attributed cause and effect statements. The false attribution is based on erroneously formulated beliefs at the subconscious level and as such often go unchecked. Effective communication skills are necessary in order to neutralize the damaging effects these may have. Allow me to give you a quick example to illustrate my point:

 

Let's say that your at the office when all of a sudden your boss comes running in screaming that the project deadline has been moved up!  You need to run over to this meeting right away in order to rearrange the schedules and make sure that you're going to meet the new deadline.  Without a second to lose, you run from your office to the conference room and make sure that everything is okay.  Unfortunately, you didn't have a second to stop and call your wife to let her know that you would be home late for dinner. 

When the meeting finished, rather than calling her you rushed to your car and drove home as quickly as you could.  All the while hoping to salvage any semblance of a family meal.  As soon as you come to the door you're greeted with a really unhappy wife… When you ask her what's wrong, she replies with "you came home late because you don't love me".  This my friends is a falsely attributed cause and effect statement.  In your wife's mind atleast at this moment she believes that your tardiness is due to the fact that you don't love her.  Now we both know that this is incorrect (well at least I think it’s incorrect :-).  Before we go further, let's talk about the psychology of this.

In evolutionary psychology it's well known that the brain  that was able to make stronger and more accurate predictions based on it’s surroundings stood a much better chance of living longer.  In other words, the quicker a brain could establish cause-and-effect relationships in it’s environment, the better the body’s chances were to survive. This meant spreading more genes…

 

As a result, we are the recipients of brains that are extremely sensitive to finding possible causes that they can attribute occurring events to.  The good and bad news is that this can happen in the blink of an eye.  Whether these causes are the actual cause of the effect may be a totally different story.  There are several studies that show both humans and animals alike will attribute the cause of a particular event to completely arbitrary objects or actions because they happen to be there at the same time.  Take the person who won't step on a crack in the sidewalk because last time they did they became ill…

 

In now knowing this, what do you do?  Your wife has just told you that you're being late is because you don't love her.  Of course there are many times when these cause and effect beliefs are very real and accurate.  The reality of the matter is though that you were pressured by your boss and really had no other choice.  In fact, you're putting up with the crap you get from your boss BECAUSE you love your wife.  Unfortunately,  simply telling her this would add best be a futile effort to pacify her fears and anxiety. 

 

More importantly, she most likely doesn’t know why she actually feels this way and as a result the “cause” is awarded to your tardiness. Feelings like this are usually based on past experiences such as watching a cheating father come home late time and again… or stories from a friend who’s perpetually late husband wound up leaving her. So what do you do? How can she communicate more effectively? How can you help her to communicate more effectively?

 

Running into a scenario where someone poses you with what is clearly an incorrect cause and effect statement can be frustrating.  As such, handling this appropriately can take quite a bit of effort and tact. There are indeed ways that you can go about neutralizing these statements without ruffling someone else's feathers. 

 

It is also very important to be aware of these types of statements in your own communication.  Cause-and-effect statements many times can be metaphorical, but depending on the recipient of your communication they may very well be construed as literal.  Choosing your words carefully is important. 

 

How do you handle these types of statements?  How can you work with your own thought process to be certain that you're not communicating ineffectively?  We talk about this and a whole host of other communication techniques in my series "The Evolved Communicator", please visit my site to learn more.

 

David J. Parnell

 

 

Mind Reading in Communication

 

In following yesterday post on The Culprits of Miscommunication, we will begin by addressing our linguistic or non-verbal “distortions”. The actual distortion per se is not necessarily in the original message or information that shows up in your speech as much as it is in the translation of your message. Keeping in mind that your brain is constantly, relentlessly trying to establish pattern and predictability in your surroundings, it is no wonder communication distortions occur.

 

“Mind Reading” is one such distortion and can occur in your communication partner’s translation of your message. For instance, let’s say you are out on a date and things seem to be going swimmingly… Your date seems to be really into you, but as usual your starting to run out of things to say. Searching your mind you remember a story that a friend told you earlier that day about a date gone wrong for them. All though it is a bit racy, you go for it anyway… What the heck, things seem comfortable enough.

 

Well as you get to the end of your story, your dates demeanor changes suddenly and once the check comes they split… What the heck happened? You only told a story about a friend of yours… More on this is a bit, let’s get to the science of it.

 

The mammalian population has been gifted with what are known as “mirror neurons” in our brains and their sole responsibility is to mimic or imitate the person/animal that we are engaged with. When I say mimic, this doesn’t necessarily mean actually performing the same action as them, but at a minimum internally/mentally mimicking them… the result is the ability to “feel” internally what they are feeling/experiencing at the time. The benefits to this are evident. If we choose to do so, we can learn and implement skills we see. This also facilitates powerful socializing and networking tools we have such as compassion, empathy and teamwork.

 

Along with this network of mirror neurons, we have a hormone running through us called oxytocin that, although much more prevalent in women, has shown in experiments to greatly increase our ability to “mind read”. Oxytocin is much more concentrated in women as one it’s main functions surrounds the facilitation of reproduction and birth bonding. We are not referring to ESP here, but oxytocin does aid in our ability to more accurately predict what someone is feeling based on our own sensory acuity. This is our reading of their facial expressions, body language, verbiage, etc…

 

From a psychological stand point, we can only view and understand messages through our own frame of reference. Our frame of reference is analogous to a mental filter through which we “see” the world. When we receive linguistic and nonverbal communication alike, our brain instantly compares that information to our stored knowledge and experience. In this way and only in this way are we able to “understand” the messages we are receiving. As a result, we have an inherently limited capacity to interpret our surroundings. All three of the above mechanisms combine facilitate our capacity to “mind read” during our interactions. Unfortunately, we are only correct a certain percentage of the time… and if it isn’t 100%, we can run into problems.

 

OK, back to the date… Now, you were only telling a story that you thought was funny in hopes to prevent the weird awkward silence that both of you have been dreading. You were hoping to simply get a laugh out of her… Let’s look at it from your date’s point of view.

 

Earlier that week she had been on another date with some creepy guy… right before he tried to grab her and make out with her he told her a story very similar to yours… In fact, his facial expressions kind of looked like yours while you were telling that story… So what does this mean? In short, she “felt” like you were going to try something more than simply telling a story. She performed a mind read... Although it was inaccurate, it inevitably happened and your left holding the check and nothing but a bruised sense of self… Less than ideal?

 

Worthy of note is that this does NOT happen consciously, these are all messages and interpretations happening at the nonconscious level. Without top-down executive control, this will simply “happen” and people (including you) will react automatically and  turn the rest of your communication into history…

 

How do you fix this? Good question and this is something that I get into specifically in my series “The Evolved Communicator”. Please visit me to learn more.

 

David J. Parnell | Communication Expert

The Evolved Communication Blog

 

The Culprits of Miscommunication

 

 

Following yesterdays post on your brain’s processing function, we will begin to delve further into the “reality” that these attentional processes create in your own world. Now, while the focus of your attention is being directed per se by the two major processes we discussed yesterday, it is not necessarily being dissected, evaluated acutely and then purged of unwanted “material” for efficient communication. In other words, a great deal of information is stored that is by no means necessary or even relevant for your survival or thriving success for that matter. So although there is a great deal of purging going on during the initial attentionally biased processing, there is still a massive information glut stored in your brain on a daily basis.

 

Now our brain has developed and implemented an AMAZINGLY efficient and effective storage, retrieval and re-presentation process in what is known as LANGUAGE. This may seem less than epiphanic, however most people do not know the extent to which language literally constructs their internalized mental world. When I tell you to think of a tree, you will hear the word “tree”, you will say the word “tree” internally, your brain will call upon all of the thousands or millions of concepts surrounding the word “tree” and create a mentally constructed image of a “tree” and then a mental check will occur verifying that “yes, this is indeed a tree”. There is much internal dialogue and communication occurring during this process and the entire movement per se is facilitated and directed by the word “tree”.

 

Now, let’s extrapolate that out… How about I ask you to guide me in making a decision as to whether or not my significant other and I should have a baby right now… Oh boy is there a lot going on inside your head… The amount of constructing going on internally is huge… You will internally represent a baby, child rearing, schooling, disciplinary challenges, feeding, driving them to soccer practice, etc… Along with all of the visual, auditory and kinesthetic representations will come all of your values, rules and belief systems that surround child rearing. These especially my friends are EXCLUSIVELY represented in language based terms. These rules, values and beliefs are the literal glue that hold your world together… allowing you to make sense of things. Well you get the point here, there is a ridiculously large amount of informational processing occurring that is language based and all of this will be done almost instantly to provide an answer to the question I posed.

 

Rules, regulations, values and beliefs for the most part are subject matter for another time. Here we will stay focused on the gaps if representing your mental world to the others you are interacting with. Let’s revisit the tree… Now if I ask you to tell me “what a tree looks like”, you will most likely say something along the lines of “well it is tall with green leaves and a brown trunk”…

 

In adhering to the least energy principle (which we will evaluate in another post) you will give me just enough information to answer the question… as it (the question) has been presented by me (which may very well have gaps of it’s own).

 

Now, does this accurately represent all of the knowledge you have of a tree? Hardly… There are differently shaped leaves, with different colors, or needles instead of leaves and some have hard chunky bark where as others have almost skin and some are white at the base whereas others may be gray and the leaves have a vein like structure to them and so on…

 

So what does all of this mean? In the large crevasse between the comprehensive battery of knowledge you have stored internally and the actual representation of that knowledge to another human being whether written or orally, stands three categorically problematic systems.  They are generalizations, distortions and deletions… These three gremlins per se are almost exclusively the culprits of every unintentional miscommunication on face of the planet… Our only defense it the ability to recognize them and defeat them with inquisition.

 

Moving forward we will begin to look at the micro components of each system and how we can effectively recognize and sterilize these gaps for effective and clear communication.

Communicating Information and the Brain's History

Yesterday we spoke briefly of the limitations on the brains processing power and how this affects our ability to communicate. To fully understand what information our brains decide is worth paying attention to, let’s talk a bit more in depth about what our brain does and why.

 

Hundreds of thousands of years ago the ancestors of modern man roamed the earth with little else running through their mind but eating and staying out of harms way so that they would have the ability to spread their genes… In fact, they really didn’t have the capacity for cognitive thought, at least not the way we (modern man) think.

 

Morning would role around and greet them with a sensation that to them meant find food. They didn’t know to call it hunger because language didn’t exist. During their foraging if something moved unexpectedly, the burning sensation in their chest caused them to run and don’t look back… And every chance they got, when they would see a woman… well, you know what they would try… And later, when the sun went down, they went to sleep so that they could do it all over again. There was no communication because it didn’t exist. Now this went on for a long time, hundreds of thousands of years… and the result is a brain that is amazingly good at keeping us safe from danger so that we may live long enough to have sex and spread our genes. It took millions of years to develop what we will call our “old” brain.

 

Eventually, while foraging one of these guys randomly hit a squirrel with a stick and killed it for food… voila, they learned how to use a tool. Their family ate better, lived longer and was better able to spread their genes as a result. The prefrontal cortex grew a little from this. Then another one dropped some seeds near their cave mistakenly… a few months later some plants grew and they ate them… farming was invented. Their family ate better, lived longer and was better able to spread their genes. The prefrontal cortex grew a little more. Then another one let out a quick shrill when scared while hunting… this warned his fellow hunters so they could avoid danger and language was born. These guys learned to communicate; their prefrontal grew even more….

 

Now fast forward to today… all of this farming, future planning and communicating has developed a comparatively massive prefrontal cortex that gives us what we know as cognition and/or consciousness. This is what gives us our top-down executive control.

 

Our brain serves two major stimuli processing functions. First, it nonconsciously seeks predictability and pattern. This has evolved to be the best way to keep the individual alive long enough to propagate their genes. As a result, for the most part our “old brain only makes us conscious of difference, or events/actions that veer from an established pattern. This is why you can drive to work and not even think about it until you see a car swerving ahead of you… it broke “pattern” and your mind is registering this so that you can appropriately deal with it. Second, you have your working memory component that interacts with your prefrontal cortex and is a major determinant of your visual attention. This holds relevant and functioning “concepts” that are of importance to you so that it may notify you when something of significance comes into your site. This is due to the wonderfully evolved prefrontal cortex which gives us the magically ability to understand the future and language among other things. In summary, one keeps us safe, the other helps us navigate the world in a focused manner.

 

Now, the point of this lesson in history is to illustrate that we have two major functions going on cerebrally at any given time. These two functions are what is guiding our attention and therefore what and how our brain is processing stimuli. This has a large role in determining how and what we communicate to people. Now this is an amazing system and although it has it’s bugs that will be worked out as time goes on… it works pretty well. The inextricable side effect of this is that when events occur around you, you not only will NOT register and store the entirety of the event, you will only be able to communicate it back in your own personally biased way. This is incredibly important to understand in communicating with each other. There are predictable “gaps” in communication that result from this and by being aware of them, we equip ourselves with amazing tools to communicate with clarity when necessary. Tomorrow we will begin to talk about the specific gaps, how to recognize them and what we can to remedy this.

David J. Parnell

Communication Expert

The Science of Effective Communication

The brain takes in massive amounts of information every second through our senses. The exact amount seems to be an object of debate to the scientific community. If you search around a "bit" you will find numbers ranging anywhere from 2 million to 400 million bits of information per seconds. What is a bit? Well the exact "amount" that a bit represents is not important for our discussion, nor is the specific amount of information that the body/mind processes per second. Suffice it to say that our brain handles a MASSIVE amount of information every second... mostly through our visual system. We take in, process, react/act upon, store and communicate as much of that information as possible. We're actually pretty good at it too... That being said, there is WAY too much for us to deal with and store it all... our head would explode... well, not literally but we would lose our cognitive abilities due to "clogging" effects.

This is important to know because in order to effectively interact with and communicate in the world, every second our brains will determine what information is useful and necessary, process and store it and eject the rest. Now lets all agree on one thing, our brains are amazing... You may think that yours fails you here and there, but as an organ, it is second to none. That being said, there are some inherent challenges with our selection, processing and storing regiment that can cause us difficulty in our daily endeavors. In the days to come we are going to talk about what our brain is REALLY working to do on a daily basis, how it does that and then get into the specifics of how these processes show up in our language. By understanding the science and psychology behind this, you will be well on your way to becoming an effective communicator.

David J. Parnell

Communication Expert

Definition of Futility

 

 

I had never heard him cry before…. And I hope never to hear it again. There was no easing into this. Like getting hit by a bucket of cold water and getting yanked from your walk of sleep. How can you even prepare? Inexperience is cold and cruel… like a statue, it has no empathy.

 

Although only 15 seconds or so, it was the longest call I had ever taken… As soon as I picked up I heard his voice trembling and he didn’t need to say a thing, I already knew. “I think she is going… you had better get here…” He could barely get it out. I knew he was trying to be strong, he wanted to be strong… be a man.

 

Suddenly, my life had been sifted through the finest of filters. On the other end he stood, impatiently waiting to catch me. Infinitely strong, with undeniable authority… his lesson is sharp, hard and cold and will easily cut through the hardest of steel. Wielding the strength of an angel… I can see him frothing at the mouth with unrelenting drive to dole out his cosmically dictated lesson.

 

Instantly, as if it had been with me all of my life… like the friend who greets me every morning and tucks me in at night, the completeness of knowing that nothing else had ever really mattered became my label, my shame.

 

The futility of everything we had fought over… every single time I decided to let the call pass without an answer. Every time she needed help and I only offered excuses. No longer would I have the pleasure, the delight of hearing her voice… I would never have the privilege of helping her, comforting her, easing her pain again.

 

As I look out the window and gaze through the rain I realize that I have become comfortable with my dread. It has been here for too long and for the first time I can hear him off in the distance. No matter how fast I drive, the clopping of the hoofs grow louder and louder. I can’t out run him and he won’t out run me… He has ridden all night, through the storm and with clinical focus he comes. He won’t be stopped until he has fulfilled his duty. Finality has ridden tirelessly, through this driving storm to deliver his message and he won’t be denied…

 

With the comparable irony of the setting sun, although I hate him I drive relentlessly to meet him. I will not be his companion on his long ride home, not this time… He has come to steal a piece of me, weaken me, leave me unwhole. This will be our first meeting but will not be our last.

 

I will be there with her… just this one last time I will stand with her, defend her… I will yell and scream fight and battle for her with all of the authority and strength of a wisper. Together we will define futility…

 

David J. Parnell

Communication Expert

Model Citizen, Model Lover, Model Blog...

With the invent of peer-to-peer systems, the way in which we communicate and share both media and information has taken a paradigm shift.  Networks such as Napster, LimeWire and Bit Torrent along with Blogs, Myspace and Face Book have created a strong push to understand the motivating factors that keep people logging in and providing information.  If a system does not have enough people logging in and providing information or media for exchange, the system will inherently provide poor service resulting in member loss.  As a network loses members there will be less information and media for exchange.  There is somewhat of a chicken before the egg issue here. Researchers have been trying to solve this by more thoroughly understanding the motivation strategies that keep people logging in. There are number of related social psychology theories that are being considered important in researching this.

 

1.  Reciprocation theory.  People will need to benefit from their participation in any peer-to-peer network or for any other interaction for that matter.  The network will not be sustainable unless it provides benefits that outweigh the costs of time, energy and resource expenditure by the members.  A couple of questions to be considered with how to appropriately reward members are how to measure the members participation to appropriately reward them and what should the rewards actually be.  The users need to think of the rewards as useful otherwise they won't contribute.

 

2.  Consistency theory.  Once people communicate a public commitment to perform an act they are much more likely to follow through with that act.  This avenue is possible in peer-to-peer communities but the question that remains is how specifically to induce the member’s public commitment.

 

3.  Social validation.  One of the fundamental ways that people decide how they're going to act or react in a particular situation is to locate at what others have done before them.  If a sizable group of their peers have already decided to engage in this, then they are much more likely to engage in it themselves.  In most peer-to-peer communities a small portion of the members are the active contributors whereas the rest of the population is considered to be "free riders".  As a result it is not necessarily a good idea to expose all of the activity in a peer-to-peer network.  Regardless of the success of the network the disjunct between how many people are actually contributing and how many people are perceived to be contributing may have a very negative effect on new members coming in. 

 

4.  Persuasiveness of liking.  It has clearly been found that people are much more likely to say yes to a solicitation when it's communicated from a friend or relative or someone else that they like.  The question is how can you stimulate existing members of the community to invite their friends.  A reward-based system that motivates this behavior would need to be put into place in order to do this.

 

5.  Discreet emotions.  What we mainly want to focus on here is the emotion of fear.  An extremely negative emotion for people is the fear of potentially losing something that they already possess.  So the theory is that inducing the possibility of privilege loss and then providing information with how to avoid this problem should increase participation.

 

 

Many of these theories have been employed in one way shape or form by most of the major peer-to-peer systems on the Internet today.  Although some have been more successful than others, none of them have attempted to integrate the above theories in a way to allow the proper meshing of them.  As a result even the most successful networks have seen negative side effects despite their successes. 

 

So the question becomes what might be the best model for motivation in a peer-to-peer network? This very question has been posed and seemingly answered by some professors at the University of Saskatchewan.  Due to theoretical conflict between certain theories, they proposed a model that is rooted in only two of the theories listed above.  They are the reciprocation theory and the discrete emotion of fear.  In sticking with the reciprocation theory they look to develop a reward system that is appropriate to the time and resource cost to the member.  Following up this reward system is the fear of losing those rewards and the social status that have been earned by their participation.  As a result the theory is that this system will feed itself from both ends and create a snowball effect in their peer-to-peer network.  So the team did just this... 

 

They set up a peer-to-peer network that simply rewarded the active participants in the initial launch stage allowing them to gain more services and as a result momentum in the beginning.  A number of weeks into the development of the network they instituted a tiered membership that allowed active participants to gain incrementally and progressively better services.  Along with this they were able to gain publicly visible social status within the network through the user interface.  This instituted an inherently existent fear-based module rooted in the potential for the individuals losing the services and social status they've already earned.

 

What you think happened almost immediately upon implementation of this hierarchical reward system?  If you guessed that it exploded, your correct.  The increase in contributions by the members increased by approximately 70% the week that this was instituted.  Along with this, nearly half of the users began to check their accounts weekly to make sure their contributions were did not drop so as to retain privileges.  Of all the participants actually 58% communicated that they tried to upgrade their memberships and out of the members who were checking their memberships on a weekly basis, 93% of them were working to upgrade their memberships.  The results speak for themselves... 

 

So what does this mean for you when I?  In setting up a Blog or a forum we are in effect developing a mini peer-to-peer network.  In an ideal scenario we are providing a service by communicating useful information to the people and in return we are hoping to get logins and communication back from other people. How can you implement the conceptual frame work from the model above to your Blog? The model proposed can and should be used as a determining factor in how you're going to set up and run your Blog if you are looking to maximize it’s effectiveness.

David J. Parnell

Mesmer, Jim Jones, David Blain, You…

Just imagine how great it would be if you knew exactly what people were thinking.  What they wanted, how they felt, or how exactly they felt about you or your product. Or what if you could control their minds? Can't you see yourself making people do what ever you want? Life would be so easy...  Unfortunately for us mind reading and mind control haven’t been quite perfected yet.  That being said a nice enough consolation prize would the ability to control how they evaluate you or your products. This way you’d know exactly what information to put in front of them, right?

Sound too good to be true?  Not according to some of the professors at Columbia University… Lets get some basic information down first then we’ll get to the cool stuff…

There are two types of evaluative judgments (among others) that someone will use in making a decision, they are:

1.  Central cues or substantive judgments pertain to the core or essence of the person or product to be evaluated (validity of claims, the actual functionality of the attributes, verifiable experience, etc…).

2.   Peripheral cues or affective judgments pertain to the person’s affective response to the target (the feelings aroused during ad exposure or interaction with the sales person, the aesthetic of the products design, the personality of the consultant, etc…)

Now, along with these types of judgments, Professor Tory Higgins of Columbia defines two types of goals that an individual is holding mentally when making their decision:

1.  Ideal based goals (aspirations, hopes, wishes) These are based on subjective/affective (peripheral cues) and pertain to aesthetics, personality types, feelings aroused, etc.. In a natural setting whether or not someone has experiential drives (feel good, have an experience) in mind is what determines their usage of Ideal based goals to evaluate the deciding information. Ideal types of goals tapped into the promotion system which performs regulation of nurturing needs and relies on approach strategies.  As such these types are more persuaded by positive outcome messages and are more willing to explore and take risks to maximize gain.

2. Ought based goals (obligations, duties and responsibilities). These are based on substance (central cues) and pertain to function, attributes, experience etc. in decision-making. In a naturally occurring setting whether or not someone has readily accessible instrumental motives is what determines whether or not they’ll be making decisions through Ought based goals. Their effect is to tap into an individual's prevention system which performs regulation of their security needs making them rely heavily on avoidance strategies and leaving them less willing to accept risks.  These types of goals are more persuaded by negative outcome messages. 

Although there are many distinctions available today in goal theory, these two separate on a fundamental level. Ideal goals refer to people's hopes, wishes, and aspirations whereas Ought goals refer to people's obligations, duties and responsibilities.  

This information is great to know, however in most cases it's not necessarily easy to elicit this information prior to marketing to somebody.  Think of a situation where you're writing a website. You don't know who's going to be coming to the website and obviously you won't have the ability to talk to them beforehand. So how do you know how to present your material to them?  Here in lies the conundrum…  

We'll thankfully the good folks over at Columbia University figured out how to solve this.  In a number of studies they primed (The act of placing certain information into someone’s working memory by having them read/watch particular information or conjuring up that information in their mind through conversation or questioning) individuals prior to engaging them in a consumer oriented scenario with either Ought or Ideal goals.  Their thoughts were that if one or the other was more accessible to the consumer’s explicit memory that they would respond better to either the substantive or affective messages respectively. I realize this is quite a bit of information, but I will sum it up into a nice neat package at the end…. Promise. 

For the advanced communicators out there this may sound all too familiar.  Priming is a relatively well-known method and its effects have been well-documented in the past.  However, traditionally held views focused specifically on information processing at the central/systematic level or the peripheral/heuristic level and this is mainly governed by their desired level of accuracy of information, their present mood and/or the level of their arousal. Basically you were at the whim of their excitement or moods… How these levels are set is subject matter for another article… This view surrounding Ideal/Ought goals priming differs from traditional priming theory in that they hope to influence the people REGARDLESS of motivation for accuracy, arousal or mood. 

So what do you think happened?  Well obviously it worked extremely well otherwise I wouldn't be here citing the study.  They were able to successfully prime the subjects with whatever goal system they wanted and as a result were able to write and maximize the effectiveness of their messages. So what does this mean for you and me?

Evaluate your product… evaluate you… Be brutally honest. Does your product simply have function (a phone plan or cable service)? Or are there aesthetic or subjective qualities worthy of note (how it looks or sounds)? Are you possibly a bit weak in your credentials and would like to shy away from that if possible? Or are you a PhD with 20 years of experience?

If you determine that your strong suit is credential/attribute based, prime the people for Ideal based goal thinking. If your strong suit is aesthetic, feeling based affective attributes, prime them for Ought based goal thinking. How to prime them you ask? That’s an article for another time… stay tuned.

 

David J. Parnell

Selling the lie, getting the girl and sugary communication

Effective communication is a lot more than simply choosing the right words.  Being persuasive, forming the right communication strategies and speaking effectively are just a few of the components necessary for people to communicate effectively.

One important component that is often overlooked is mental energy reserves.  Now, I understand very well that the concept of mental energy has at least until recently been considered a metaphor.  When your "mental energy" was down, traditionally you just “give a little bit more effort”, “man up” or just focus and you’d be fine.  How you "felt" inside was just your perception... It wasn’t real… an actual thing… Well, is turns out that it is indeed a measurable "thing" and knowing this spins the old paradigm on it's head... Now stick with me because we're not getting metaphysical here, we’re going to get to the rock solid science soon enough.

Effectively communicating can require intense cognitive effort which is known as “top-down executive control” in the brain.  Basically your prefrontal cortex is working overtime to manage the unrelenting force of the unconscious drives of the brain. To do this takes quite a bit of volitional control and can be extremely taxing on the brain.  In other words, if you're in trouble while trying to “sell the lie”, “get girl” or “close the sale” there is usually a lot of executive control going on in your head.  If your mental “energy source” is down, how do you think you're going to perform? I know, I know… you're too mentally strong to fall under the pressure… well I'm going to show you why you're not.

(By the way, I don't condone lying, it is metaphorical)

Aside from the “juicy” (look for the pun later in the blog) behavior above, many other common behaviors have been found to rely on and deplete this elusive “energy source” as well, including managing your impression, suppressing stereotypes and prejudice, coping with negative thoughts and fears, controlling your spending, restraining aggression, etc…

The notion had been toyed around with quite a bit in the academic world for some time that self-control and this type of top-down processing rely on a particular and limited energy reserve or strength.  Now, if this was true and there was indeed a limited energy reserve it would hold that once someone engaged in a rigorous cognitive process that requires top-down processing or strong self-control, that those energy reserves would become depleted as a result, correct? This would make subsequent performance much less effective and much more difficult volitionally.

With this being a pretty interesting topic, you know that academia couldn't keep their hands off of it.  So in an effort to find this elusive "energy reserve" once and for all, Florida State and Texas A&M engaged in a number of studies to prove this theory.

A number of experiments were executed placing subjects in routines that tested their volitional power and self-control.  From a biological standpoint, based on all the research to date, glucose seemed to be the likely candidate for this energy reserve. There are a number of reasons but we won’t get into that here…

So what do you think the results were? The studies empirically determined that effort-ful suppression of urges through execution of volition directly and significantly depleted glucose levels in the brain. This in return had a significant and direct impact on the individual’s subsequent ability to perform and effectively communicate.

In one study in particular, subjects were paired into groups with subjects of another race to interact in discussions on areas such as affirmative action and criminal profiling to create a mentally taxing situation for individuals who scored low on the IMS (The Internal motivation to respond without prejudice scale) which measures someone's drive to stay away from any racial stereotyping in speech or action. This might require some mental control.. no?

Well, the results were undeniable… same race pairs experience almost no glucose depletion where as mixed race pairs experienced massive glucose depletion… Now even though nearly all of the brain’s activities consume some glucose, most cognitive processes are relatively unaffected by subtle or minor fluctuations in glucose levels within the normal range. Controlled, effort-ful processes that rely on higher executive function however turned out to be HIGHLY SUSCEPTIBLE to normal fluctuations in glucose.

So what does this mean for the average person who's interacting with, communicating to and attempting to gain the cooperation of someone on a daily basis?  Well you may not find yourself in a racially mixed group discussing affirmative action frequently, but think outside the box a little bit… When your boss is grilling you because you asked for a raise, effectively communicating to him while suppressing the desire to tell him to shut up may tax you. What about trying to get a date with the new girl, fro the last 20 minutes of her cat story you have to suppress your compulsion to tell her you don't care... How about closing the sale... Man do you just want to tell them "just sign the darn contract so we can get on with our lives". Well you see where I am going with this...

A professional communicator needs to be aware of this fact so that they can best prepare themselves for any potentially “taxing” interactions that they see coming their way.  But have no fear, if you find that your sugar levels are low or your not feeling “on”, there are a number of quick fixes.  Ideally you will eat some fruit if it's available, but lemonade or any other juices (theres the pun...) including a good cold Red Bull will do the trick. In fact, Red Bull or other glucose laden drinks will have a quicker effect. Fructose (fruit sugar) breaks down into glucose more slowly, but is healthier. Processed sugar is already there so it will affect you quicker.

Once you have glucose in your system, it is absorbed into the bloodstream at a rate of 30 calories per minute and after about 10 minutes can be metabolized to the brain.  Now, everybody knows that you fell "better" after eating, especially sugar. What is important here is that mental energy isn't just a fluffy perception, it is real, it is measurable and can be depleted.  Can you drive your car without gas by "focusing"???

So if you have a “make it or break it” sales appointment or you're coming home late and you know that your spouse will be waiting up for a sneak attack, take a quick mental check and make sure that everything feels in line.  If not grab some Red Bull and start working on your communication strategy before your pending communication... You’ll be glad you did…

*Disclaimer. This article is not advocating the usage of Red Bull or any other products. The author of this article is not a medical doctor and the information should not be held as prescribed medical advice as dictated by the AMA. Usage of any products containing sugar are done at your own risk.

 

David J. Parnell

Sex, drugs, cooperation...

Communicating to future prospects, whether they be clients, potential lovers or maybe just someone at the DMV who you want to help you get out of there quicker can pose us with an almost infinite number of possible strategies. Sometimes the most successful route is the simplest. Stick with me; you’ll be happy you did…

In 1954, James Olds a social psychologist along with Peter Milner a physicist discovered what is now known in the field as “self-stimulation”. During their research, they found that by planting an electrode near the Nucleus Accumbens (NAcc) rather than other traditionally held arousal centers in the brain showed energized behavior and spontaneous return to the geographic area where the rat received the “charge”. This interesting finding caused them to fashion a Frankenstein-esque apparatus that would allow the rat to give themselves a “charge” whenever they wanted by pressing a bar…. What do you think happened?

The results were, well, predictable… The rats would work diligently to press that bar over and over again… and at the exclusion of all other activities including eating, drinking, sex and sleeping. I am assuming that this must have felt pretty good. I happen to know some people that minus the apparatus, aren't much different than those rats... :)

At any rate, this study led modern neuroscientists to the present knowledge of dopamine and the Mesolimbic system, or the reward system in our brains. There are two component of the Mesolimbic system that interest us for this particular discourse and they are the Mesial Prefrontal Cortex (MPFC) and the Nucleus Accumbens (NAcc). These two components are responsible for the activation of gain anticipation and gain probability, respectively. As such, these help us to calculate our expected value of taking a particular action by giving us a “reward” which is a nice little shot of that dopamine. In other words… this is how we figure out if something is “worth it”.

So what am I getting at? Stick with me… your “reward” is coming soon, we’ll see if we can’t fire up your Mesolimbic system…

Now, putting our furry friends aside for a moment, the Mesolimbic region has been lighting up FMRI and PET scans in humans for instances that involve things such as money, pleasant smells, pleasant touch, the sight of a gorgeous face and especially viewing erotic films. In fact penile tumescence is directly correlated to this reward system… pretty powerful stuff. Do with that information what you will, but today we are only interested in cooperation….

Now socially, bonding is something that is culturally and evolutionarily wired into us, This is something that would be difficult to debate. Viewing your lover, seeing your infants face and the concept of cooperation all activate this very same reward system. Human cultures foster a strong value for reciprocity and cooperation as by doing so, stability will follow. So, you guessed it… when people cooperate, they get dopamine.

In fact, an FMRI scan of individuals playing what is know as “The Prisoners Dilemma”, which is a game of cooperation, showed that mutually cooperative outcomes fired up this system more than any other strategies. On the flip side of this, when someone decided to defect and thereby rescind their cooperative position, the head of the Caudate (just above the NAcc) lit right up and the amount of money they would pay to PUNISH these defectors was directly correlated to how active the Caudate became. As such, we are hardwired to cooperate and punish people when they don’t…

OK, so what the heck does all of this mean? In attempting to gain compliance or cooperation from someone, it is helpful to know that they are wired up for this very action… All you need to do is give them cause or rationalization to do it and the simplest way is by asking for help… Yes, “help”. This is a phrase that is wired into us from early childhood almost as soon as we are able to comprehend language. Much like the term “because” (if you have been through Kevin Hogan’s work), there is an automaticity in the brain to this request that bypasses the critical thinking component.

By framing your request in a way that solicits someone’s “help” and positioning the two of you together against the “defecting hordes”, who or whatever they may be, you will be tapping directly into that Mesolimbic system causing them to give your request "expected value" and exponentially increase the odds of gaining their compliance.

David J. Parnell